In addition to the emotional side of ending a relationship (which may, in fact, be the largest) there are two basic prongs to get handled. If they are addressed separately things can be kept clearer and decisions can often be made more easily. Until all of the items shown below, in both parts of the case are resolved, written down, and approved by the court, there is no final judgment.
- Split of assets and liabilities – the “things” – all relationships have this part! If there are no children, then it’s all about things. (Some folks say, “It’s all about the money.”)
- Allocation of parental rights and responsibilities – the “kids” – limited to those who have minor or disabled children. Where there are minor children, the primary concern of the Court is, “What is in the Best Interests of the Child(ren)”. That is the question to keep asking yourself throughout the process.
The split or separation of assets and liabilities involves:
Property — Definitions
- “Marital Property” or “Jointly Owned” property: These are things owned by the parties jointly, or which were purchased/acquired during the marriage by one or both of the parties during the marriage. Some of these are marital home, automobiles, furniture and other household items.
- “Non-Marital assets” or things which belong to one or the other of the parties. Most are assets acquired prior to the marriage. Some of these might be family jewelry, life insurance purchased as a child, gifts given to one of the parties.
“Marital Obligations” or “Joint Obligations” — These are debts and obligations incurred by the parties jointly, or which were incurred during the marriage by either of the parties.
Financial items
Money in Bank or Savings Accounts
Stocks and bonds
Ongoing earnings — Spousal Support – this depends on the relative income of the parties, how long they’ve been married, and what each one has contributed to the marriage
The allocation of parental rights and responsibilities involves:
Custody — In many cases today the outcome is “Joint Custody”. A Shared Parenting Agreement generally would be executed between the minor children’s parents. It includes a parenting possession schedule, designation of “Residential Parent for School Purposes”, a commitment to work cooperatively to make decisions about the child’s health care, sharing of school information, etc.
Child Support — calculations for the amount of Child Support to be paid in most states is based on calculations contained in a standard “Worksheet”. The amount which is finally agreed-upon, and approved by the court, can differ from the numbers calculated by the Worksheet, but those figures must be provided to the court. The incomes of both parents are used in the calculation, as well as information about who will be paying the health care costs, day care and other allowable deductions.
Possession of the child(ren) — this is the schedule of visitation or “parenting time”. You and your spouse or partner can agree to whatever you wish, within reason, and present that to the court. The solution you devise together and agree upon will almost always be superior to ones handed down by the Court. Temporary Orders are established early in the case by the Magistrate and Final Orders will not be established until the Final Judgment.
The way parenting time or possession gets established in the “Temporary Orders” from the onset may be how it ends up continuing until the child finishes High School. If you live near one another it will be fairly easy for your child to move between your homes on alternating weeks, or otherwise according to the schedule you establish. However, if you do not live near one another it could potentially present problems for future school attendance.
Parenting Plans can also be revised as the child(ren) age and their needs change.
Examples of Parenting Plans when the parents live within a few miles of one another are:
- Party A has the child(ren) two days and week and alternate weekends.
Party B has the child(ren) the other two days a week and alternate weekends.
- Party A has the child(ren) on week 1 and other alternate weeks
Party B has the child(ren) the week 2 and other alternate weeks
Health Care Coverage –- who will pay for the health insurance, and how will costs be apportioned for items which are not covered by insurance, including the deductibles.
Tax Exemption for the Child(ren) — which party will take the tax deduction for the children and/or will that deduction be alternated for different years.
If you would benefit from having a brief legal consult about your rights and responsibilities when ending a relationship, you are welcome to contact me for an appointment, or reach me by using this “Contact Form”.
